A Letter to my Child

I cannot promise a world of smiles and candy canes

I cannot promise you that tears of pain won't find there way to your eyes
I cannot promise you that your heart will never be broken or that you will never be let down.
My sweet child with eyes that are filled with innocense I might not be able to promise you perfection in life But...
I can promise that I will love you perfectly with all my heart
I can promise that when you are down i will help you up and brush you off.
I promise that I will be tough but only because I know you have the best in you and it is my job to bring it out.
I can love you and not judge you, hold you and never want to let go, I will be the best that i have the ability and knowledge to be and ask only that you understand that...
My imperfections may let you down
My choices may make you confused
But my love will never waver!!
You are my heart, my soul, my strength and my smiles
You are my Child.



- Sophia

Thirty and Mental Pergatory

It's funny how you conduct day to day activities that do not reflect your true you. How you can get so emersed in a culture that either doesn't accept you or you know you just don't quiet fit into. When is it that life get's so complicated that you start living for someone else. That a little piece of you erodes away like the boulder on the river bank that once stood so strong is now just a pebble submersed in the sand.


I often question whether I am that boulder; and if I am how can I seperate myself from the waves, be a rolling stone that finds the fit that works for me. Speaking to many of my friends lately it seems as if they are all in a early thirty pergatory. Not sure where they are really or how they got there, but can hear that conscience inside them screaming for change. The only thing is, how to answer?


When you are bogged down, and not necessarily in a bad way, but with a load to carry, how do you make a change? How do you recover from fear and let fate guide you? Determination is impart your fuel but procrastination is your anchor.

Here is what, when you know without question that you got lost in living day to day without truly living it is time to make that choice. Now or Never!


This is what I have told myself. With three children a husband two careers, something has told me something is not right and I know exactly where to look. So "small steps dreamer" is what I tell myself.

My first step, Write! Get it all out don't look for an answer. There are no easy answers to hard decisions. Believe in yourself even when others doubt you. It's ok to not have it all figured out just know that speaking freely from your soul will set your will free. Positive energy, Positive outlook, finding the upside to a bad situation can keep you from loosing focus. When you have a larger goal that are seemingly out of reach, one of two things can happen it can give you an excuse to walk away or help you see all the posibilities to get you to that next peg.

Believe this; you have not achieved all that you have already by standing by and letting others take you on a ride to the goal line. Each experience a team player, each achievement a first down. Little by little playing the field in your home stadium you cannot lose.


So be the boulder don't stand stubborn against the crashing waves instead ride the tide that flows you to your next course.


Make excuses to succeed not to fail. I have gotten this far on hard work and dedication, confidence and will. The next step is fear of success lets conquer the climb!

-Sophia